Glasses!

yes, i'm getting one, finally:-D ever since i was a kid i was trying out my mother's glasses and badly wanted to have my own. when my friends have surgeries to fix their eyesight  to stop wearing glasses, I want to wear one!(yes, i may be a little weird). Anyway I finally ordered my own one today(doctor's orders of course), and i just can`t wait to wear it! :-)

Gaslight

Watched Gaslight after a colleague suggested that i watch it. I felt so connected with that character bcz its something i've been through and still struggles with. For someone who was brought up with 'normal' ppl the movie might even look silly, but for me, it really hit a nerve deep deep down.

My inner demons planted deep into my soul at a very young age still tries to speak up, it's still a daily struggle for me. I can`t say i have completely killed those demons, but i have spoken up against them. The struggle inside me is sometimes too tiring and too much for me to handle and it affects ppl around me. It's not easy for anyone to understand what i go through, unless its someone who had a similar experience...
I know i'm getting much better at seeing things for what they are without imagining things...
honestly didn`t know there was a word to describe it: Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory,perception and sanity.^[1] Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim(wikipedia).

I hope and pray that i will never lose the battle against my inner demons and become someone just like her...

I need a new job !!!!!

maybe i need a new label that says daily complains or something..

Back to backstreet boys

Yes, I downloaded their albums again after several years. It's funny how you lose touch and completely forget old songs as you grow older but thanx to you tube suggested videos, found some of my old favorites. Their song 'don`t wanna lose you now' takes me to a weird/nice mood that i can`t explain. There's something about listening to Brian's voice that calms me down.
Can`t believe its been a decade since i listened to it.(i'm so old..ahem.. i mean i've grown up..oh get over it already!!!)

Phone Dilemma

It's just been less than a year since i bought my current phone (samsung galaxy music) and i just can`t don`t like it anymore! correction: i never liked it, i was forced into buying it (due to suggestions and the balance in the bank account..sigh). Anyway i need to buy 'the one'. Let me explain. my first phone was a nokia (of course), then i got my bro's phone (sony ericsson) which i used for more than 5 yrs! i have dropped it millions of times and yet it never gave me a single trouble. Sadly i had to buy another phone cz it wouldn`t charge anymore and i then bought sony ericsson text pro. It gave so much trouble (like restarting on its own!) ,so i borrowed my bro's sony phone which didn`t last long (sigh) and moved on to samsung.

Let me explain why i don`t like my current phone.

(a) i wanted something that has the shape of an iphone, samsung has a not-so-nice shape

(b) ...............well ok thats it. I honestly don't know why i wanna change this. i just don`t like it. (This post is all about trying to justify to myself why i would spend more money on another phone)...

Anyway

I was looking at LG optimus L7 but the one available here is LG p705 which doesn`t look so nice. anyway i'll check it out. I wanted to check micromax doodle but EVERYSINGLE person protested (what is up with that?) so i gave up. Now a more promising one for my budget and requirement is Huawei Y 300. (I don`t wanna spend way too much on a phone, i probably spend more on my hair:-) ) I just need to hold it in my hand and feel whether its 'the one'.

I just read the post and my writing keeps getting crapier! oh well back to work!