Feel good series

Got sick after a while..well I'm pretty sure it's because I had way too much sugar and junk food.

Anyway watching the Good Witch certainly lifted my spirits.

Hallmark Channel is such a blessing to humanity...don`t you think?

Rain

After what seemed like the hottest months I have ever experienced, finally the rain is here! Well for the past couple of days it rained at night, but today, it rained in the morning! There's something about the rain and the cold wind it brings that brings calmness and a feeling of 'life is good'. I have always loved gloomy weather, I even watch TV series that are shot in rain forests with gloomy weather and creepy islands :D

Thank you universe for this wonderful day that started off with just the right amount of rain.

Hope everyone else is enjoying the rain as much as I am!

Retired !

Jan turned out to be a bit more dramatic than I thought. Ended up quitting my job before I found another one, something I thought I'd never do. But here's the thing, I always wanted to retire in my mid 30s. When you really want something the entire universe helps you to get it. I didn`t win the lottery, but adopted a minimalist lifestyle. See for a while I have been a bit overwhelmed by the going to work- being in cubicle prison - buying clothes to go to work - spending time on the road - not having time to read or learn - spending weekends doing household work - hating sunday because of Monday blues vicious cycle for a while. Long story short, I'm at home now. Took a while to really tell myself that 'I'm not a failure to stay at home with two masters degrees', that 'I'm gonna be ok', 'its ok to take a breather and cut back on expenses', 'to relax'.

Gradually I realized what I really needed.........Freedom

And now I'm in heaven.


P.S.hopefully the next post won`t be 'what the hell was I thinking quitting my job? :D "

Pick up Limes and Other things

I might become a vegan! Wow, never thought that I would be saying those words out loud. My relationship with food has varied over time. Once I thought that my purpose in life is searching for good food (can`t find that post right now). At that time I did gain a lot if weight, dealt with quite a lot of personal 'traumas' and found comfort in food.Now I realize that in finding comfort in 'junk' food, I made my problems get worse by messing up my gut health and in turn tuning out my inner voice and making more mistakes that made things worse.

So what changed my relationship with food? A comment by a colleague(that I no longer talk to) about my sense of style. I was so angry back then and thought how could 'she' out of all people tell me how to dress, then I realized that I had stopped caring how I looked and kept getting bigger and bigger clothes. Then I happened to see 'Stick with you' by Pussycat Dolls and saw Nichol's eyebrows and I realized I had even ignored that (I looked like a bear)! I got so used to being obsessed with my personal problems which kept getting worse, I didn`t even look at myself.As I type this today I only feel so much love and compassion for that girl, that girl who struggled so hard, that girl who didn`t know any better.

3 years later today I'm talking about becoming a vegan and about to form proper six pack abs (yes, been working out and eating so well, and gotten so hotter :D).In order to lose the weight, I gave up sugar (something I never thought I could do.) and I started exercising. Weight loss was so slow and hit a plateau, but I started looking and feeling better the second I gave up sugar. I had less and less nervous breakdowns, had more clarity in my thoughts and was making better decisions.

I started trying several diet plans...

• Low carb diet - helped me realize how much I was committed to become more healthier, because low carb meant no dairy - living without milk tea was something I thought I can NEVER do. Two weeks into this diet, my face looked different and my pants fell off(literally!). I couldn`t keep doing it because I liked fruits and milk.

Which brought me to....

• Keto Diet - high fat, high protein low carb. The combination of food was fantastic. I had to eat a lot of meat - which I did. somehow it didn`t feel right.

What I'm doing now.......

• Eating mostly healthy - gave up dairy when I realized my gut didn`t like dairy at all
• Eating lots of vegetables - mental clarity that you get from this is amazing
• Not punishing myself if I enjoy sugar or any 'unhealthy' food. But to be honest I eat those during extreme social events, otherwise I choose to put the best possible food inside my body.
• HIIT workouts - changed my life (checkout Bowflex on YouTube)
• Most importantly listening to my body and feeding what my body wants.

Coming back to pick up limes, the host Sadia does an amazing job. She is one of those people you can listen to if you are having an 'off' day and you will feel that life is good.Watching her videos inspired me to try and become a vegan. Again I'm not giving myself unnecessary pressure. Mostly vegan during weekdays...baby steps......I feel so much better and my skin looks amazing!

check out her channel - Pick Up Limes
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq2E1mIwUKMWzCA4liA_XGQ

December Recaps - 2017

Went through my 2017 goals I wrote last year...apparently I never got any of it right :D then again, it's been a pretty great year.


- Getting properly committed to spiritual growth is probably the best things this year
- Startup partner didn`t work out well, Now I know the sort of people to work with
- Managed to live out my 'secret fantasy' ...I'll leave it at that
- Got a lot of things off my chest
- Moved unexpectedly to an amazing place, finally I'm home
- Lost my beloved dog, Bingo who gave me the biggest lessons in life.He is in heaven now:)
- Rescued a cat, who became so close to me, never knew I could be a 'cat person'
- Got another puppy
- Finally realizing that I need to control what I think about all day
- Hooked on daily dose of Wayne Dyer affirmations
- cut my air extremely short :) loving it

Goals for 2018

- Inner bliss
- See what  happens to the startup idea that keeps poking me when I sit still
- Thoughts, all about thoughts and meditations
- See where life takes me and flow with it :)

One more month to go, will update if more amazing things happen during this time:)

Moment of bliss

You go to work in the morning and the voice in your head keeps muttering "this is not what you should be doing with your life" over and over again.

Your co-workers are near you, trying to figure out a timeline of a project, they argue and discuss.

You kept working on your document despite the background and inside voices and reached for your headphones,and by accident saw "The Way - by Fastball".

You started playing.

............And then you experience pure bliss in that chaos.

Life and Rules

Three months into 2017 and I have done pretty crazy things that I wouldn`t have thought I would do in a million years and it felt so damn good.!

Anyways, I'm saying yes to life more, it just feels right. After all, the rules that I have been trying to define myself with and trying to follow seem so invalid now. Its weird because everything feels right and I just feel alive.

Several lessons learned along the way.
1. Do not picture worse case scenario all the time, just RELAX and be present. EVERY SINGLE ONE of ALL human reactions teach you something. If you look at all those as teaching moments, you will stop reacting and get closer to your inner self.

2. When its really hard to make a decision and you find yourself completely conflicted, hand over the decision to a higher power  (universe) and relax and trust that whats best for you will happen.

3. Give away love, a lot of it, not to just one person, make human interactions about love and kindness

4. The best thing that happened to you this year is Simon Sinek. Keep practicing his principles.

Annual Recap Post - 2016

Probably the 'fastest' year...I didn`t even feel 12 months passing.
Mainly because of the job, the consultancy firm that I work for only runs by deadlines. so I guess I need to slow down and get away from this rush!


2016 - Highlights - Wins!

• Completed the MBA- Yay!
• Got a Tattoo! - My first one
• Stood up for myself, stood up against the office bully to be specific, and that felt AMAZING!
• Marisa Peer's Lecture was so moving that I decided to do it myself. I wrote "I am enough" with lipstick across the mirror...The changes were unbelievable!
• Had the first serious discussion about starting a business, which didn`t result in anything, however I got to seriously think about starting something on my own
• Found a business coach or rather a business coach found me, I will follow this as a sign and see how this goes
• Started Practicing being fully present
• Read a lot, I mean a LOT of books, mainly self help but amazing books which helped tremendously for me to grow
• Started bullet journal-ling and ended bullet journal-ling 
• Started being fully active on instagram- which is so much fun!
• Gardening was pretty good, my balcony is getting closer to becoming a mini bird sanctuary
• My relationship with my husband is becoming more authentic, I'm more present and aware now, I'm just going to see how things go
• My friendship with a close friend has reached a bit of an 'off phase', I just don`t want to deal with drama at this stage in my life
•  Started eating healthier, Did something I never thought I would do- I stopped eating sausages!
• Lost around 8kg and only 3kg more to loose to get back to my usual old self! - YAY!

 

Lessons Learned

• Always, ALWAYS stand up for yourself, especially at work. Never let other people treat you like trash and get away with it.
•  Alocating 'me time' always pays off, you become a much happier healthier person
• Working out daily gives you an amazing feeling which you can`t get by eating junk food, so always go for the workout and ditch junk food
• Portion control works like magic when it comes to weight loss
• Always start counting your blessing when your thoughts start spiraling around an old situation that has harmed you, do not feed those thoughts and let them pass. You are not your thoughts, you are the one being aware of those thoughts. 

    and finally knowing that

• I AM ENOUGH!

It's been a great year! now to....

2017 Goals

- Have several smashing startups
- Publish several best selling books
- Be my own boss
- More quality time with my family
- Dance more
- Sing More
- Play more
- Have my own amazing tribe
- Be the Light that spreads love




Happy New Year Everyone!

Re-Blog

I think the time has come for me to start a new blog. When I started this blog 6 years ago I wanted it to be a sort of a digital journal where I would write about my fights with my mom, my search for love, marital complains, problems related to work and other rants. Every time I open my blog and try to type now, I feel like the space doesn`t fit who I have become anymore. When I go through my old posts I feel very different. I need to start recording my journey in a different way. I want to remember the happy memories, achievements, realizations than angry rants when I look back. So I thought of starting another blog. Feels exciting. I will write more and more about my journey towards spiritual path in finding my true self, looking for different teachers and will write about everything I find.


Feels Exciting and feels like a new beginning.
Here's the link : http://authenliving.blogspot.com/ 


p.s. I will of course keep blogging here about this and that, hopefully less angry/frustrated rants.
 

The Visit

I spoke about this church here and finally after 4 years managed to go there. Its amazing how I remembered the route even-though I was last there 20 years ago when I was very small. Nothing much had changed, it was comforting in a way to see an area to be the exact same way that you remembered it to be.

In other news, I need to re-do my blog. I have started following these two lovely teachers  and have started taking a more spiritual path in life. Feel like I need to start a new blog because I went through some old posts and can`t even relate to any of those 'rantings'. High time I start to blog about things I learn daily and the methods to train myself to stay positive :D.

Unreal

Almost two years of work....so much hard work...sleepless nights.....accumulated into this one moment.....that moment of giving a dissertation....feels so unreal.......


It's weird actually, last time when i did my masters i told myself that was the last time i was going to sit for a lecture.Eighth years later, here i am again...completing yet another masters......This time it was so much harder, studying while working, while being newly married and switching jobs in between. I have grown so much,feels truly blessed and thankful for the person that I have become today.

Being Ready

It has been said that you have to be ready to receive. Many times I have picked up  this book, held it in my hands wanting to buy it, but never got to it. I always keep it down and buy something else. I have done this many times and few months earlier I saw it again at British Council Library, held it for a while, kept it down and got another book. But as I was holding  it in my hands again, months later, my inner voice asked me to take it. Within a day I managed to finish reading despite the fact that I'm stuck with my dissertation and work. Everything I read in this book felt like a summary of all the Ted talks, lectures and other books that I have been reading all this while. Everything made perfect sense.
Feels like i'm on the right path.

The Art of Deculttering - The Experience

Well I did it! Used the 'KonMari' method and de-cluttered everything. Got rid of almost 30 pieces of clothing and several garbage bags full of paper..... and my mind is at peace :)

Marie Kondo....Thank you!

P.S.And Thank you to my brother for ordering that book!

The Art of Decluttering

Finished reading the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up:The Japanese Art of Decuttering and Organizing. The way she sees the art of tidying is quite fascinating!

After several attempts of organizing the house and failing miserably, I thought this is something i'm gonna try since 'KonMari' method keeps the house tidy (forever!- well she claims that twice a year cleaning is enough). The Main points I got from the book..

1. Always clean up according to category (clothes, books, mementos), not by room
2. Always focus on what you want to keep instead on what you want to throw away
3. Always keep things that "sparks joy"
4. Surround yourself with things that you love and sparks joy

What really struck me was as a result of cleaning up, some lost weight, got clearer about life choices and even started to do more things that give them joy. It does make sense, you become more decisive when you decide what you want to surround yourself with, and when that is "what sparks joy", life is indeed joyful.

Trying it out this weekend! Starting off with clothes.

Perfect Start for 2016

These just arrived today!

On Forgiveness

Being a huge Oprah fan, I was browsing through several super soul Sunday episodes when I came across this definition of forgiveness; "forgiveness is the acceptance that it happened,not that it is ok that it happened, but accepting that it happened and move on from it".

Just listening to it lifted a huge weight off my chest, I have been battling with deep regrets and 'what ifs' for such a long time and building up inner rage because I was hoping that things could have been different. The fact that I had to accept all that happened to me,already happened and that I had to move on in order to gain peace, was something that never crossed my mind, because I kept telling myself I should have known better.

Well sometimes we plan things, take risks and it doesn`t go our way.....and its really ok...

Grateful for you tube, Oprah and everyone who share their stories of self discovery and living a full life....

Sleep & Happy Endings

That's what I`ve been doing lately...getting lots and lots of sleep. Kinda feels weird going to bed without a to-do list with 40 tasks :D. I was too busy with exams and assignments getting up at 2a.m, studying and driving in (hectic) traffic to get to work and meeting work deadlines..... my first review meeting at my new job went quite well. I'm pretty impressed with myself (so much modesty!)

Anyway going to enjoy this short break before the next round of exams starts.


I had severe problems falling asleep due to stress and other problems I've had this year, I have to say now that its October I'm surprised and pleased that I survived. I think it has also got to do with my new found shift in focus. I feel like I'm finally focusing on things that makes me happy.

Talking about happy things, my friend R, who is married (not happily) has fallen in love with another guy. I mean nothing has happened between these two, its just that feeling of 'falling in love like a teenager', when i saw  happy she was when she was talking about this guy, I really wished she can actually be with him. I'm not promoting divorces or anything but honestly after what her husband did (he walked out of the marriage and came back) I feel like she deserves her happy ending. I really think eventhough some couples patch up and try to heal wounds and make things work, it can NEVER go back to how things were. And life is too short to live with regrets. I normally would never encourage anything like this but when it comes to this situation I wish her story can end up like "eat pray love".I just want her to be happy and not trapped in a loveless marriage.

                                      





Anyway in other news , got my hair straightened yet again :) , think I will let it grow for a while this time without changing my hairstyle every three months.

Perfection

One of the very rare moments in life when every single thing,....I mean EVERY single thing went perfectly for us. All the hard work, team work really paid off. I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to get to know a group of people like them and truly glad that I was able to know what its like to be in a proper team where everyone contributed.

Exhilaration .........That's what I felt, and I honestly can`t remember that last time I was that happy:)

Just thought of making a note of this wonderful moment for future reference:D

The perfect fit

Those who are not skinny would understand what i'm talking about.
Hunting for the perfectly fitting office pants has always been a nightmare. If the length is fine the waist size is too big, If the waist is fine, its too tight from the thigh area.....I would try on several pants and would always walk out in frustration.

Which is why, when you find that perfect pair, which perfectly fits the lower part of your body in the most comfortable way......you feel like hugging the owner of that shop and giving him a long smooch! :D

I feel like a missing part of my life has been found (ok now i'm being way too dramatic!)

Quickie update

Can`t seem to remember to blog these days, so thought of jotting down what has been going on in my life for future reference:D

-Found yet another wonderful book by Tony Robbins (yes i'm 'self help book junkie')
- Left a job after almost three years
- Made significant changes in my life and started putting my life first
- Have a new bigger goal to keep me motivated

well i guess that's about it..............  Oh and yes, started a new job too :)))))))

Hope everyone else has been good!