Monday, October 7, 2013

My own voice

I've been thinking (as usual..actually when do i not think?) about how I react to certain situations and i realized its not bcz of my own opinion or view that i make it a huge problem,BUT bcz of 'what it should be' according to others.It's quite hard to explain what goes through my head but let me try to explain,

Situation 1: When my partner goes out for drinking
my mind immediately starts to worry. The voices that talk during these times are
1. his mom- "you should know how to ..bla bla"
2. his sis -" i think he prefers drinks than anything else"
3. my mom -"your brother doesn`t drink, and your partner drinks? (condescending tone)
4. his mom and sis - "he spends a lot on drinks"
5. mine -"omg he's out drinking again, he will spend everything on drinks and not care about anything and will    forget about me and go drinking even when we get married and his parents and my mom will blame me!!!!"
WTF!!! im totally cool with drinking, if he wants to go out and drink im fine with it, so why can`t THAT be the voices that talk to me everytime i hear that he's out?

Situation 2: His ex posts a b'day wish on fb, he's in touch with his exes
Voices that talk to me when I see these
1. My mom -" he will go back to one of those and you will be all alone (condescending tone), didn`t all the horoscopes say that?? i TOLD YOU SO!!!
2.My friend S - "Marriage sucks, men suck! and they should never be friends with exes"
3.My frnd P - "I don`t even wanna be near my husband"
4.My friend V -"Men change they always do, women end up suffering"
5.Mine -"i'm never gonna get married ever, what if he's talking to them constantly and i'm the only idiot who shares my life with him and he shares his with other women?"
when my actual voice says "don`t give a shit, he loves you"

I can just go on and on, but to be honest life will be much more easier if i delete everyone elses voices from my head. 'sigh'
I'm trusting my inner voice and going ahead with this. I'm practicing taking one day at a time.






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4 comments:

  1. SachiNovember 20, 2013 at 6:33 AM

    You seem to be giving the best advice to yourself, although setting some boundaries and talking to your partner about what you are ok and not ok with is not a bad idea :) Who knows, they might be willing to consider some different approaches to this whole thing..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MaddyNovember 21, 2013 at 6:07 AM

      yeah well I try to avoid conflicts as much as possible. I guess i'm scared that i might hear something i don`t wanna hear.

      Delete
  2. SachiNovember 25, 2013 at 9:16 AM

    I guess we are all, more or less guided by our own experiences..and learn from the new ones anyway. Always trust that you know best. Good luck! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MaddyNovember 28, 2013 at 9:19 PM

      yeah, this will be another experience to learn from i guess:D and thanx!

      Delete

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