Changes

There was a time when I tried so hard not to change, i remember how difficult it was for me..
But now, I find myself letting go of things and moving on; I finally feel like I'm starting to behave like a grown up.

(About the house a dreamt of living ever since I was a kid )

Parasite

I don`t know when you took control over my 'sane' mind
At first you just started whispering
It became regular whispers
Now you have a voice
You have a say in what I do
You make me do the meanest things
You make me say the meanest things
I feel like you have completely gotten rid of my 'sane' self
I used to hear words of encouragement, trust, faith, love
Now all I hear are words of doubt, fear, worry, suspicion, hate
You started telling me i'm losing my mind
Why do u keep doing this to me
Is it because you feed on pain?
I know I have to defeat you somehow
All I know is that I don`t have the strength to do it

I need my old self back, I need to hear the 'old' voice inside my head again...
I need help......

the truth is

Eventhough I act like i don't give a shit about the way you talk to me..it hurts
Eventhough i stopped caring about your approval...i still want it
Eventhough i don`t wanna speak a word to you...i still wanna talk about my day with you
Everytime you open your mouth i can feel your hatred towards me
Eventhough you think i don`t love you...I really do
More than anything it hurts to know for a fact that you will never know what real love is, bcz all you care about is money 

Road Rage

I was just heading off to KFC in Nugegoda to meet my guy(well its not the ideal place, under the circumstances-which i will blog about later...,that was the only place to see him that day) and was turning to the lane where you can turn to the car park, the van that came from the main road just stopped and allowed me to turn.I was halfway through turning when another car(which i clearly saw was too far and came from the main road and was next to the van) accelerated and stopped in the middle. That idiot who was driving just stopped it and gave me a look as if 'where the fuck are you turning' and remained there for 2-3mns. By now i was stuck in the middle of the road and couldn`t go anywhere else and was actually causing a major traffic jam, so i simply made a hand gesture asking him to move his car forward so i can go. That bugger simply reversed his car and made sure i have no whatsoever room and was directly looking at me!!! by now i was so annoyed and i simply gave the finger, for that some other bugger got off that car and actually tried to open the door on my side!(keep in mind that this is infront of KFC in the middle of the road). I mean WTF!!! thank god the door was locked,  honestly don`t know what those guys would have done if the door wasn`t locked, i mean what was he gonna do? pull me out of the car? and then what? Anyway the rest of the vehicles kept honking so he had to move. I really need to keep pepper spray and maybe a knife!

(I was bored at work today and thought of drawing it, FAH stands for F*n A*H*..I think my drawing is worse than my description :-D )
I know Sri Lankan men have a problem with female drivers, but this is too far!

Alone

I was fine with it, I sleep alone, spend most of my time alone at home, always watch movies alone..
Then you came along..
I used to love driving alone to work..now when I have to go home alone, I wonder where you are, and wish u can go with me. When I go to bed sometimes I wish you were there with me.

I was fine....completely fine being alone....until you came along to change all that.

New Year, New Job

Starting next month, I really do hope things workout well.:-)

Husbands

"I have to live with this person for the rest of my life, so i made up my mind to tolerate his behaviour"

"I'm trying to get rid of this man, too bad i'm bound for the rest of my life"

"I married when my entire family hated him, now i'm wondering why i got married to this man"


"I hate his f*n family"

"He's so freaking annoying, have to deal with him for the rest of my life"

These are just some of the comments of my married friends and relatives have to say about husbands when all of them were so much in love before marriage.
Its kinda  sad that i can`t think of a single relative or friend of mine who actually like having a husband.