Monday, March 20, 2017

Life and Rules

Three months into 2017 and I have done pretty crazy things that I wouldn`t have thought I would do in a million years and it felt so damn good.!

Anyways, I'm saying yes to life more, it just feels right. After all, the rules that I have been trying to define myself with and trying to follow seem so invalid now. Its weird because everything feels right and I just feel alive.

Several lessons learned along the way.
1. Do not picture worse case scenario all the time, just RELAX and be present. EVERY SINGLE ONE of ALL human reactions teach you something. If you look at all those as teaching moments, you will stop reacting and get closer to your inner self.

2. When its really hard to make a decision and you find yourself completely conflicted, hand over the decision to a higher power  (universe) and relax and trust that whats best for you will happen.

3. Give away love, a lot of it, not to just one person, make human interactions about love and kindness

4. The best thing that happened to you this year is Simon Sinek. Keep practicing his principles.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Unwritten

What do you do when the person once you wanted so badly ends up hurting you so much?

What do you do when you decide to work on it because you should?

What do you do when you feel so uncertain of the future?

What do you do when you know the right decision deep inside of you but refuse to look at it because its too hard?

How do you live with yourself when the person that hurts you, gives you 200% and all you can think of is whether he will hurt you again?

How do you carry on?

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Annual Recap Post - 2016

Probably the 'fastest' year...I didn`t even feel 12 months passing.
Mainly because of the job, the consultancy firm that I work for only runs by deadlines. so I guess I need to slow down and get away from this rush!


2016 - Highlights - Wins!

  • Completed the MBA- Yay!
  • Got a Tattoo! - My first one
  • Stood up for myself, stood up against the office bully to be specific, and that felt AMAZING!
  • Marisa Peer's Lecture was so moving that I decided to do it myself. I wrote "I am enough" with lipstick across the mirror...The changes were unbelievable!
  • Had the first serious discussion about starting a business, which didn`t result in anything, however I got to seriously think about starting something on my own
  • Found a business coach or rather a business coach found me, I will follow this as a sign and see how this goes
  • Started Practicing being fully present
  • Read a lot, I mean a LOT of books, mainly self help but amazing books which helped tremendously for me to grow
  • Started bullet journal-ling and ended bullet journal-ling 
  • Started being fully active on instagram- which is so much fun!
  • Gardening was pretty good, my balcony is getting closer to becoming a mini bird sanctuary
  • My relationship with my husband is becoming more authentic, I'm more present and aware now, I'm just going to see how things go
  • My friendship with a close friend has reached a bit of an 'off phase', I just don`t want to deal with drama at this stage in my life
  •  Started eating healthier, Did something I never thought I would do- I stopped eating sausages!
  • Lost around 8kg and only 3kg more to loose to get back to my usual old self! - YAY!
 
Lessons Learned
  • Always, ALWAYS stand up for yourself, especially at work. Never let other people treat you like trash and get away with it.
  •  Alocating 'me time' always pays off, you become a much happier healthier person
  • Working out daily gives you an amazing feeling which you can`t get by eating junk food, so always go for the workout and ditch junk food
  • Portion control works like magic when it comes to weight loss
  • Always start counting your blessing when your thoughts start spiraling around an old situation that has harmed you, do not feed those thoughts and let them pass. You are not your thoughts, you are the one being aware of those thoughts. 
    and finally knowing that
  • I AM ENOUGH!

It's been a great year! now to....

2017 Goals

- Have several smashing startups
- Publish several best selling books
- Be my own boss
- More quality time with my family
- Dance more
- Sing More
- Play more
- Have my own amazing tribe
- Be the Light that spreads love




Happy New Year Everyone!












Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Nightmare

Pregnancy Test....I'm holding it....I can see the results now..........It says 'positive'....
So many thoughts going in my head.."what am I going to do now???" How"........

And then I woke up.................

It was all a dream!.......wait no...it was a nightmare!

Mentioned this 'nightmare' to the man later who asked why it was categorized as a 'nightmare'

*head-bash*



Saturday, July 9, 2016

Lessons Learnt

Someone has created this wonderful facebook page where all of the childhood story books have been uploaded. Stories that I have read 25 years ago.During a time when we didn`t have internet or even facebook. Yes I do sound like an old person, but there was a time that I was offended when someone tells me that I sound like an old person (when I refuse to go partying, going to bed by 9p.m...etc), but now that I'm 32, I have never been happier or wiser.

I now know that,

I absolutely hate drinking, I hate the taste of it, I hate the smell of it and can`t stand it. Hollywood makes you think that its all glamorous and people have more fun after having alcohol, and even to 'be cool' you must be the 'drinking kind'. After trying to be someone I'm not and pretending to like the taste of it just to 'fit in' , now I have even left a corporate job (where after parties was a requirement for career advancement) and settled in  a small company. I don`t have to lie to myself or make myself do these things. Those who wanna party all night can do so, and I always am happy to cuddle with a book or my headphones by myself.


I need to choose very carefully how I spend my time. Every time I say yes to something that I don`t wanna do and something I do out of obligation, I feel like my soul gets filled with emptiness. I enjoy saying no to people more now, and it gives me this warm feeling of love for myself. 

Love is not entirely from romantic relationships. Love can be felt through friendships, deep conversations, love to myself, love that you show others and love that you give to the world. 

The right people will always come to you at the right time and you will always be alright. Don`t be afraid to share the wonderful gifts that you have to share with the world.

Deep compassion is something that you need to practice. The more you let go of judgement the more you heal internally.

Things you learn experience is so much  more valuable that certificates or degrees. Being wise only comes with age, and for that I'm very grateful. Looking forward to getting wiser each year. I actually like getting older.



Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Re-Blog

I think the time has come for me to start a new blog. When I started this blog 6 years ago I wanted it to be a sort of a digital journal where I would write about my fights with my mom, my search for love, marital complains, problems related to work and other rants. Every time I open my blog and try to type now, I feel like the space doesn`t fit who I have become anymore. When I go through my old posts I feel very different. I need to start recording my journey in a different way. I want to remember the happy memories, achievements, realizations than angry rants when I look back. So I thought of starting another blog. Feels exciting. I will write more and more about my journey towards spiritual path in finding my true self, looking for different teachers and will write about everything I find.


Feels Exciting and feels like a new beginning.
Here's the link : http://authenliving.blogspot.com/ 


p.s. I will of course keep blogging here about this and that, hopefully less angry/frustrated rants.
 

Sunday, April 24, 2016

The Visit

I spoke about this church here and finally after 4 years managed to go there. Its amazing how I remembered the route even-though I was last there 20 years ago when I was very small. Nothing much had changed, it was comforting in a way to see an area to be the exact same way that you remembered it to be.




In other news, I need to re-do my blog. I have started following these two lovely teachers  and have started taking a more spiritual path in life. Feel like I need to start a new blog because I went through some old posts and can`t even relate to any of those 'rantings'. High time I start to blog about things I learn daily and the methods to train myself to stay positive :D.