My brain has slowed down, instead of overanalyzing anything and everything, i`ve started to relax, understand and enjoy the moment.Hope this state of mind lasts longer. My mom is away for the weekend, i think this is the first time she went out on a trip leaving me and dad at home. she went with my sis-in-law`s(s-i-l) family which she loves and keeps telling me to find a guy with a family like that . Frankly i`m glad to stay at home, yes they are nice people but i just have to keep up this picture perfect appearance infront of them which is annoying . Plus whenever i`m around them i feel like the rebellious child and that its so wrong to be myself. thats what my parents and my s-i-l`s parents have in common, `children should do as they are told`-they should marry the person the parents want, make babies as soon as possible...etc...etc...and i can`t really have fun around them( s-i-l actually fell asleep at a concert and her sis was just sitting around and all i wanted was to get up on the chair and sing along with the crowd!! sigh..)
Just got off the phone with my cousin, she broke up with a guy she was engaged to, her parents and my mom of course was doing everything possible to make sure that happens, you know how parents use mental manipulation. I`m pretty sure if that guy was proposed by the parents they would do the same manipulative ways to make sure that she gets married to that dude.
I`m glad i`m immune to those traditional views(to a certain extent). I know now that i have to accept people for who they are, love them for who they are and that its ok to be myself. I`m enjoying the space i have in my life right now, downloading magazines, movies, tv series , documentaries (Inside the human body-pretty good actually, i sound geeky now)...i like losing myself in those characters, well the less time spent worrying and overanalyzing, the better i feel :-)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
If i did it all again.....
"If i did it all again i`ll be a nun"...lyrics from the song-strong by Robbie Williams, a decade ago i wouldn`t have agreed with that sentence, ....but now...........escape from real life is all i want.........
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
the good and the bad....
The month of May has so far been great...found a job after 17 months of unemployment, been working for two days now:-). Feels great to have the thought that i`m earning something, and learning the whole `work` atmosphere. And my bestie told me that she`s expecting her first child and another friend of mine is getting married.She also asked me to be her bridesmaid, i think she ran out of all the single friends(yes i`m one of the very few unmarried ones) cz i`m a lot more taller than she is:-) anyway i said yes cz she`s not someone i can say no to, but when she said she might kill the groom cz of all the stress, i realized what i just got myself into. Hopefully it`s gonna be a beach wedding and should be fun.
On a more negative note..
i was coming home from work, with my brother and my sis-in-law, stuck in traffic. A three-wheeler came on the wrong side of the road,blocked the whole side and got blasted by a van driver who came from the opposite direction.They shouted at each other and the van passed by, but was stuck in traffic. The taxi driver stopped it, right infront of our car, this is in the middle of the road, got down, lifted the back seat and took something. I was saying to myself `let it not be a knife or a gun`, it was a huge metal bar.Then he walked to the van which was still stuck in traffic, i thought he was gonna smash the drivers head with it, or smash a window. Just when he was a few feet away the traffic cleared and the van drove off. All this time we just stayed in the car, waited for the taxi driver to come back and drive away clearing the road for us. What if he had hit the poor fellow, who was gonna stop him?, what if it was the other way round, some mad driver coming at us , who`s gonna help us? My cousin always says if u see some kind of a robbery or anything, throw whatever you have at the bugger and run off, yes its a risk , but if nobody does anything....
anyway, the day went well, and just remembered a quote i wrote down some time back, i wanna remember & live by it ,
"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad ppl, but the appalling silence of the good ppl"-Martin Luther King
On a more negative note..
i was coming home from work, with my brother and my sis-in-law, stuck in traffic. A three-wheeler came on the wrong side of the road,blocked the whole side and got blasted by a van driver who came from the opposite direction.They shouted at each other and the van passed by, but was stuck in traffic. The taxi driver stopped it, right infront of our car, this is in the middle of the road, got down, lifted the back seat and took something. I was saying to myself `let it not be a knife or a gun`, it was a huge metal bar.Then he walked to the van which was still stuck in traffic, i thought he was gonna smash the drivers head with it, or smash a window. Just when he was a few feet away the traffic cleared and the van drove off. All this time we just stayed in the car, waited for the taxi driver to come back and drive away clearing the road for us. What if he had hit the poor fellow, who was gonna stop him?, what if it was the other way round, some mad driver coming at us , who`s gonna help us? My cousin always says if u see some kind of a robbery or anything, throw whatever you have at the bugger and run off, yes its a risk , but if nobody does anything....
anyway, the day went well, and just remembered a quote i wrote down some time back, i wanna remember & live by it ,
"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad ppl, but the appalling silence of the good ppl"-Martin Luther King
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