Hearing about Chester Bennington's death sparked a different kind of emotions inside me. Honestly I felt like he has been released from the struggle he had in his head. My brother who is a huge Linking Park fan told me that 'its a crazy situation' in total disbelief. I knew that it wasn`t just a crazy situation. I knew that its just so hard sometimes to live with the voices in your head. I know that sometimes you simply can`t find a reason to go on. I've had those days, this year more often than most years.I have tried everything, even tying Dr.Kelly Brogan's suggested holistic methods. Getting rid of sugar from my diet did amazing changes to my body, but not my mind. I wanted to move, to a new space, but then I realized that even if I move I will be taking the voices in my head with me, so it wouldn't make a difference. Lying down in bed, wishing I would't need to wake up next morning feels like a terrifying thought to me now, yes, today is a 'good' day. I don`t have voices in my head, I don`t have depressing thoughts, today I wanna live. I wanna make plans for the future and start my business ventures. Today i'm an advocate of positivity. Today I realize that I need a plan. I need a plan on days I feel like I want it all to end. Only thing that has worked for me so far is going for a jog, somehow getting up and moving changes the state of mind. Today I'm able to write this because I feel better. I actually feel good and lucky to be alive and truly grateful for all I have. For days when I feel like I can`t, all I can say is.....Hang in there
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