Happy B`day friend!

Just wanted to wish you a very happy b`day! Hope you are doing wonderfully fine.

Decisions

i wanted to say this for a long time...
you made me believe i`m the only one...
for now i`m done....

"Had Enough"-Lifehouse
(feat. Chris Daughtry)

Loneliness pacing up and down these hallways
Second guessing every thought
Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this.

I believe that love should be a reason
To give and get back in return (to give and get back in return)
I wanna breathe in a new beginning
With someone who will wrap her arms around what's left of me

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold onto
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this.

I'm tired of barely holding on
To something that's already gone.
I'm tired of being the one who's in this all alone.

Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this.
Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to
Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this
Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too
Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, had enough of this
Oh whoa, oh, I've had enough, had enough of this

and the theme song for today....

i wanna write whats going on in my life right now, but i guess im too lazy or i just don`t wanna talk about it. Anyway love this song, love the lyrics, wish i could run away.......



Running away- Midnight hour

Don't lie and say that it's ok
It's alright if there's nothing more to say

So I'm running away
I'm leaving this place

Yeah, I'm running away
I'm running away

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame
It's too late for you to make me stay

No, I won't stay

So I'm running away
I'm leaving this place

Yeah, I'm running away
I'm running away

And faster than you can follow me
From this lonely place

And farther than you can find me
I'm leaving
Yeah, I'm leaving today

And I
I'll never let you find me
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back
And I don't want to hear your reasons
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay

And try
And try to understand me
And try to understand what I say
When I say I can't stay

I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't wait
I'm running away

I'm running away
I'm leaving this place

Yeah, I'm running away
I'm running away

theme song for the day

"The World I Know-Collective Soul"

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

Are we listening?
Hymns of offering.
Have we eyes to see?
Love is gathering.
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

I started this blog to vent and thought of directing myself to be more positive, but i just keep hitting walls as i go along.....anyway i still believe in fairy tales and happy endings............... maybe there`s hope.............

argh.........

I just don`t understand these politics. There`s a hidden agenda behind all the (fake) smiles. Its as if ppl assume that they live forever. A little smile can go a long way. I honestly don`t understand these ppl. At this point in my life i`m actually glad that i get a sense of hidden agendas, but i`m still surprised and dissapointed at the way they change when they don`t get what they want. And the insane things they do to get what they want.  My motto has aways been 'you are here to make things better', which is why i`m still hoping that through all of this we can contribute something, to make things better, and through all the fake smiles, and backstabbing and manpulations, ..............a real smile, laughter and genuine friends who back you up will make the journey worthwhile.

one of these days.......

i`m gonna hit my head on the wall for real

The Boy

No, i`m not talking about anyone that i`m involved with. This is about a boy that i met during training. He was straight after A/Ls. was sitting in front of me, smiled at me all the time, and just started a conversation, like where i work and then started discussing movies . It was so good to have a great conversation with a total stranger.  at the same time his innocence made me wonder. Close knit family, not spoiled, and of course his heart hasn`t been broken or played with. So much innocence and so much enthusiasm. He`s going to India to start his degree. Ah the big bad world. I wish in my heart that he will be surrounded by good friends, that his innocent heart doesn`t get played with and i really hope that smile in his face will remain there. You may be a total stranger but that day when you spoke with me you cheered me up. I was upset because of a guy, but i didn`t say any of that to you. I enjoyed the child like conversation. Thank you for talking to me that day. You may be a total stranger but i wish you all the very best in life.