What have I become

Argued with a cop today,...my old self would be smart(and calm) enough to sweet talk my way out of it (even-though  I did nothing wrong) . I have become this violent, aggressive human being that I never thought I would grow up to be. I get angry at everything quite often and find myself struggling to control my emotions. I used to be the calmest person I know . I feel like there's repressed anger that keeps coming out, i'm trying to figure out the source and so far I think it has something to do with ;
1.Marriage - felt like I betrayed myself when I did, since i had pledged not to get married
2. Men       - I have always hated them for some reason, even before I was in any relationship
3. Job   -  (no comment)
4. Not accepting things for what they are and trying to change things to match the picture in my head
5. Limitations
6. Regrets


I need to go back to how things were...........maybe that is the problem, I just keep wishing I could go back in time when all I did was go to school, dream about the next X-files episode , listen to my friends drama with their boyfriends, go to sleep listening to music  feeling glad that I wasn`t interested in men and their drama :) Ah good old days........

I just need to accept things for the way it is and stop looking back and try to focus on the present......I need to try again.....one day at a time..........just breathe..........