Pick up Limes and Other things

I might become a vegan! Wow, never thought that I would be saying those words out loud. My relationship with food has varied over time. Once I thought that my purpose in life is searching for good food (can`t find that post right now). At that time I did gain a lot if weight, dealt with quite a lot of personal 'traumas' and found comfort in food.Now I realize that in finding comfort in 'junk' food, I made my problems get worse by messing up my gut health and in turn tuning out my inner voice and making more mistakes that made things worse.

So what changed my relationship with food? A comment by a colleague(that I no longer talk to) about my sense of style. I was so angry back then and thought how could 'she' out of all people tell me how to dress, then I realized that I had stopped caring how I looked and kept getting bigger and bigger clothes. Then I happened to see 'Stick with you' by Pussycat Dolls and saw Nichol's eyebrows and I realized I had even ignored that (I looked like a bear)! I got so used to being obsessed with my personal problems which kept getting worse, I didn`t even look at myself.As I type this today I only feel so much love and compassion for that girl, that girl who struggled so hard, that girl who didn`t know any better.

3 years later today I'm talking about becoming a vegan and about to form proper six pack abs (yes, been working out and eating so well, and gotten so hotter :D).In order to lose the weight, I gave up sugar (something I never thought I could do.) and I started exercising. Weight loss was so slow and hit a plateau, but I started looking and feeling better the second I gave up sugar. I had less and less nervous breakdowns, had more clarity in my thoughts and was making better decisions.

I started trying several diet plans...

• Low carb diet - helped me realize how much I was committed to become more healthier, because low carb meant no dairy - living without milk tea was something I thought I can NEVER do. Two weeks into this diet, my face looked different and my pants fell off(literally!). I couldn`t keep doing it because I liked fruits and milk.

Which brought me to....

• Keto Diet - high fat, high protein low carb. The combination of food was fantastic. I had to eat a lot of meat - which I did. somehow it didn`t feel right.

What I'm doing now.......

• Eating mostly healthy - gave up dairy when I realized my gut didn`t like dairy at all
• Eating lots of vegetables - mental clarity that you get from this is amazing
• Not punishing myself if I enjoy sugar or any 'unhealthy' food. But to be honest I eat those during extreme social events, otherwise I choose to put the best possible food inside my body.
• HIIT workouts - changed my life (checkout Bowflex on YouTube)
• Most importantly listening to my body and feeding what my body wants.

Coming back to pick up limes, the host Sadia does an amazing job. She is one of those people you can listen to if you are having an 'off' day and you will feel that life is good.Watching her videos inspired me to try and become a vegan. Again I'm not giving myself unnecessary pressure. Mostly vegan during weekdays...baby steps......I feel so much better and my skin looks amazing!

check out her channel - Pick Up Limes
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq2E1mIwUKMWzCA4liA_XGQ

Discovery of Alexi Panos

Alexi Panos was on women of impact - hosted by another amazing woman, Lisa Bilyeu. She had such energy and Lisa mentioned how amazing her you tube videos were,i had to check those out.
I have been watching her and Preston Smiles on a daily basis now. Starting the day with their videos really set the tone for me. Anyway this post is not about the massive impact she is making on my life. It's about the amazing sequence of events that work in this universe.

In one of her interviews Alexi mentioned that since her parents got divorced she had to travel back and forth 8 hour car rides with her mom. Her mom used to play tapes of Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer and Mariane Williamson while driving and all their teachings got conditioned into her mind. Later on she had to rediscover them-that's a different story. But just think, her mother chose to play those tapes instead of just listening to radio and see the impact it had on her daughter. See the resulting impact it is making on my life here on this island!

Your choices have consequences that you Will never think about.
Choose wisely. I mean seriously, choose wisely....

P.s. checkout vids of Alexi Panos and Preston Smiles and see what I' m talking about!

Alex Inc. and other Arts

My last post sounds really depressing, well I did feel quite depressed at the time, it comes and goes. In yet another one of those low point mental states, I bumped into this wonderful show - Alex Inc. It's about a guy who quits the big corporate job and starts his own business. Sounds a lot like me (except the wife and kids), anyway I could relate to every single episode, it was just wonderful to see the journey and struggles through someone's eyes.Too bad it won`t be renewed for another season. But the way it lifted up my spirits was simply amazing, if TV shows can do that, I think that's the real service- enriching peoples lives with entertainment.

I'm hanging in there, still trying to figure out the startup life. Not sure how it would turn up but will certainly write about it here.

I still have bills to pay for, so even-though I'm not at my big cooperate job, my current small workplace pays my bills. I still don`t like how I spend my time there (meaning what I do), so this painting just always makes me forget that 'I'm-at-a-job-that-hate-to-pay-my-bills' feeling.

(image from Google, not sure who the artist is)

Resignation

What do you do when you want to give your resignation letter to life?

A cat story

I have never really been a cat person. I had my first dog when I was 13.  I think  he was with me for almost 14 years. Anyway I had another dog for 9 years, he died last year. That was one of the most painful experiences in my life. The cat just showed up in front of our house one day, it's just one of those rare moments where someone else other than your neurotic mind makes a decision. Several times I thought I should just handover the cat to someone else.today when he got out and my other dog ran after him, I grabbed him despite his biting and scratching because I simply didn't want my dog to kill him. After all the drama was over I was in the shower washing off my blood from all the scratches. Then I realised the truth. I would do anything to keep my cat safe, he had formed this bond with me without me realising it. There have been few depressing moments in my life over the past few months, my cat would just get on top of me and lie on my lap whenever I get into a depressed mood.
Another thing I realised is that just like I would do anything to keep my cat safe  would anyone else do the same for me ? My parents would for sure. But who else would ? 

Its late and I'm in pain,tomorrow I would most probably wonder why I even typed this rant. I think what really bothered me was thinking that I don't have humans who would protect me. Have I not cultivated genuine friendships ?  Somehow I feel like I shouldn't worry . I believe that a power greater than me will be watching over me. 

Work

Long holiday, deep sense of satisfaction....you feel grateful to be alive...


And then you go to work....listen to complaints...know that you are in the wrong place....
you can`t imagine going to work the next day
You remind yourself that it is the place that pays you to pay bills
you remind yourself of the stoic practice

And you try to survive

No this is not going to be how I spend the rest of the year...




Today I made a clear decision

Note to self #1

Not sure when I got into the whole 'do your own thing' idea, but around 3 years ago me and few friends got into the whole thing. I was actually really excited about 'starting' something. While they all lost the interest I kept thinking and planning it ...giving up and again thinking and planning.

Three years later thinking about what I would regret if I die tomorrow, the one thing that came to my mind is not starting 'my own thing' and spending my days inside a concrete building(my day job).

Initially I was motivated to 'start my own thing' to prove all the 'naysayers' wrong, then I realized that I was motivated by the faith and belief of handful of people around me about my own abilities.Today while thinking about my motivations I realized that I really needed to try this to save my soul.....

So...I'm gonna start leaving notes to myself about anything I learn or want to remember during this journey.........

note to self.....

its good to visualize where you want to go, but don`t get too caught up in the daydreaming process, just focus on few 'small wins' daily.....most importantly enjoy the steps......