Loneliness

That feeling you get even-though you are surrounded with family........

Time's Up

I was just there..walking or running......and there was a voice

"Okay, time is up"

I remember wanting to go on, feeling disappointed...

Then........... total darkness.....


I remember waking up terrified.
Of all the dreams/nightmares I've had, this really shook me because,
(a) I have been wishing to die for a while but when I actually died (in my dream) I was dissapointed
(b) I remember I was really dissapointed because I didn`t try my business idea or have the life I really wanted

So....this time I started to really make things count...daily...
I'm much more aware now,took two more days off from work (without feeling guilty).

Going to use these two days to work on my 'inner world'...and oh...yes ....can`t wait to checkout 'Tuesdays with Morrie' :)

Things I'm Trying out - Part Three

• Still working on my 'Why' but getting closer to figuring
• Getting better at handling emotions thanks to Tony Robbins
• Gave up reading Gary Zukov Daily
• Workout is going really well, Gwyneth Paltrow once said that her trainer asked her to think  about working out as just like brushing teeth, you just do it. That statement helped me a lot.Been working out daily.
• Hoping to working on starting a business and walk away from 9-5 life this year 

Truth about Depression

Hearing about Chester Bennington's death sparked a different kind of emotions inside me. Honestly I felt like he has been released from the struggle he had in his head. My brother who is a huge Linking Park fan told me that 'its a crazy situation' in total disbelief. I knew that it wasn`t just a crazy situation. I knew that its just so hard sometimes to  live with the voices in your head. I know that sometimes you simply can`t find a reason to go on. I've had those days, this year more often than most years.I have tried everything, even tying Dr.Kelly Brogan's suggested holistic methods. Getting rid of sugar from my diet did amazing changes to my body, but not my mind. I wanted to move, to a new space, but then I realized that even if I move I will be taking the voices in my head with me, so it wouldn't make a difference. Lying down in bed, wishing I would't need to wake up next morning feels like a terrifying thought to me now, yes, today is a 'good' day. I don`t have voices in my head, I don`t have depressing thoughts, today I wanna live. I wanna make plans for the future and start my business ventures. Today i'm an advocate of positivity. Today I realize that I need a plan. I need a plan on days I feel like I want it all to end. Only thing that has worked for me so far is going for a jog, somehow getting up and moving changes the state of mind. Today I'm able to write this because I feel better. I actually feel good and lucky to be alive and truly grateful for all I have. For days when I feel like I can`t, all I can say is.....Hang in there

Moment of bliss

You go to work in the morning and the voice in your head keeps muttering "this is not what you should be doing with your life" over and over again.

Your co-workers are near you, trying to figure out a timeline of a project, they argue and discuss.

You kept working on your document despite the background and inside voices and reached for your headphones,and by accident saw "The Way - by Fastball".

You started playing.

............And then you experience pure bliss in that chaos.

Things I'm Trying out - Part two

I posted on  things I'm trying out in April, Two months later here's the progress.

- Tim Ferris - Still following his advice in reaching the highest potential as a human being

- Working on my ' Why'

- Started Vishen Lakhiani's six phase meditation

- Working on my startup and translation, I let go of guitar practice for now

- Getting better at practicing empathy

- Started to read seat of the soul by Gary Zukov again.Aligning myself to the purpose of the soul and  getting clear of my intention is something I'm practicing

- Daily workout is going well

-Discovered David Goggins, his fascinating talk can be found here

- Practicing being non-judgemental

Marriage and the 'right person'

This captures it perfectly!

http://www.thebookoflife.org/how-we-end-up-marrying-the-wrong-people/